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Nevea Tears: Do I have to tell you why I love you

18/01/05 || Lord K Philipson

Another album sent from Century Media as we are their fave-site and all… We appreciate it, fucko’s. For starters, Nevea Tears is a suck-all-cock name. Secondly, the fucken biography made me shake my head. An excerpt:

“Somewhere in Southern California a man found a phone number hanging on a wall. Two weeks later, Nevea Tears formed.”

Wow. How weird.. It’s like a fucken David Lynch movie even. Taxi.

Nevea Tears really wants to create something in the lines of Refused, From Autumn To Ashes and Killswitch Engage (at least that’s the audience they are seemingly aiming for as that’s what the press-sheet says, fans of those bands will dig what Nevea Tears is doing) and in the process ends up giving the thing one of the shittiest fucken album-titles I have ever had the misfortune to read. I’m 6.7, bearded like fuck and generally clueless when it comes to computers, please DO explain why you love me, will ya? In return I’ll explain why I DON’t love you, pissants:

1. The “powerful vocals” mentioned is alot of things, “powerful” is hardly one of those. The clean vocals sound all fine, but the little fucken black metal troll screaming and destroying every potential these guys could have makes this a fucken drag to listen to. The idiot is pouring his ass-shoutings all over the songs and I wanna hit him in the balls with a tree so he shuts the fuck up. Then I wanna take out my penis and urinate on him. It’s not original (well, pissing on him might be), it’s just plain fucken stupid to incorporate this ass-clown into the songs as it adds nothing but annoyance. Fuck you, alot.

2. Some of the techno-stuff (and the idiot who programmed them) makes me wanna steal his stuff and piss on it as well. Listen to the ending of “In sickness and in health”, or the middle of “Helium Queen”, for some really piss-poor drumbeats and techno-sounds that makes no sense whatsoever. The neat piano in this one can’t save it from turning out a total fucken fluke.

3. Weird riffs thrown in for the sake of having weird riffs gets no fucken points from me. And by topping this with the cumstain screaming for all he’s worth, even decreases those non-existing points. I don’t even know how that’s possible but that’s how it works right now.

4. They got a record-deal and made me listen to this crap. That’s a good reason to not love them.

5. They named a track “Who would be Tom Selleck?”.

A few advices:

1. Never bring the screaming clown into the studio again.
2. Concentrate on the melodic parts with clean singing, those actually sound pretty fine at times.
3. Fuck the “metal” riffs you guys try to compose, they are neither heavy or good.
4. See advice number 1. Take a good long stare at it.

That’s just a few things but what it all comes down to is that the actual music is almost a full-on Teh Suck. It’s just riff after riff, weird part after weird part, keyboard-passage after keyboard-passage. And it all makes no sense to me.

“The dynamic 6-piece makes a bold statement with their blend of hardcore, emo, and techno”.

This “dynamic” 6-piece can suck my fucken cock.

3 out of 10. I rate it this high for a few reasons; Some of the keyboard-parts sound all fine and the clean vocals works for me, even if they tend to get a bit fucken tedious in the long-run.

Information
Released: 2005
Label: Alveran Recordings
Website: www.neveatears.com
Band
John Morello: vocals
Greg Gillis: guitar and vocals
Amber Barnard: drums
Dom Gomez: bass
Brent Doan: guitar
Jeff Metajan: keyboards, beats

Tracklist
01. Who Would Be Tom Selleck?
02. Helium Queen
03. Johnny Cash V. the Space Coyote
04. Today Cake, Tommorow Spraying For Roaches
05. Heavy Breathing
06. Xiaoyu 74
07. Bellendaine
08. Act 1: Scene 1
09. No One Ever Shuts Up!
10. In Sickness and in Health

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